Los Angeles (AP) - Colin Son, a 21 year old USC student, with little former political involvement was approved by a Republican Senate as Bush's nominee for Chairman of the Federal Elections Committee today. Son's first act was a press conference in which he vehemently denied recent reports which had quoted the FEC head as claiming his new found power would guarantee "the Republican party's reign of terror for the next decade [evil laugh] I'll be damned if we lose another election." Democratic lawmakers were already looking into possible assassination methods. "Hell, I'll kill him myself." Senator Kennedy said. At which point the FEC's new Gestapo division led him away in handcuffs.

Source: The Short Happy Life of...