"I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen." "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex." "Duct tape won't fix that." "We don't keep firearms in this house." "Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?" "No kids in the back of the pickup, its just not safe." "I couldn't find a thing at Walmart today." "The tires on that truck are too big." "I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl." "I don't have a favorite college team." "Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla." "Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight."

Source: The Short Happy Life of...