So I shake and wake at 0520 this morning (that's pre-ass crack of dawn to most of you); get my tea and sit down for some old fashioned PLHE (Pot Limit Hold 'EM) on Poker Stars (www.pokerstars.com). I proceed to lose 1/3 my bankroll (yes, my $5 is my bankroll). Nothing big, I just forget that playing low limit hold em is alot like playing with a band of rabid wolverines...no one but you really cares about whats going to happen. I ended up going on tilt for the last ten minutes or so and just called everything to the turn, then I folded if I didn't have anything...which I really didn't. I won a couple hands though and that pushed the losses off somewhat. Not a good morning, but not a bad morning either. My bad got to be in the 11 o'clock hour. But I've digressed, so lets try this damn thing again. I stopped playing at about 0700, quietly went back into the bedroom and crept into the bathroom that lies there with-in (the wife was sleeping...and waking her is usually a bad bad idea). I grabbed a shower, did the shave thing, brushed the teethers...(you get the point) I was throwing on my BDUs (Battle Dress Uniform...also known as camoflauge or standard military uniform) when the wife rolled over and grunted at me. My heart actually stopped. I don't pretend to be billy bad ass, I dont think of myself as Mr. Tough guy, but I'm not scared of too much either (besides spiders....damn things), but when I heard my wife start to wake up...I got very very scared. Not that she would hurt me (praying mantis style) or that she would say pissed at me...but the womans tounge is like a dagger and she knows how to use it (perverts). She can go from zero to kill in about the time it takes most people to light a cigarette. I just sat there, very very still..thinking that as long as I didn't move, she couldn't see me (remember Jurrassic Park?). Turns out I didn't need to worry, she must have been dreaming; or something. Anyway I roll out to CPR class (signed up for it, free training rocks!), do that for a few hours and get to work about 930. Everything is doing good, life is fine and then I get this email from Capital One (where I have a credit card) that tells me "Your Password has been successfully changed". Hold on...WTF, I don't remember changing my password to my Capital One accounts..hell I hadn't logged into them in forever (they are pretty much maxed anyway...$300..woohoo!). So I think about it for a minute, then call the house. Three rings later, the Mrs. E answers and we proceed to talk about why she changed the password...what was going on, things like that. I admit that I did kind of chew her ass for it...but damnit it scared the hell out of me. Thanks CNN for all the talk of identity theft...I appreciate the paranoid person you have turned me into. Hell, I even own a shredder. Anyway, turns out she was looking for money, any money. Not because she has a crack addiction or something, but because we are broke, and its 6 days until payday. Not "dont have food" broke. No we have plenty in the fridge/freezer for the next week. Not "don't have gas for the car" broke, nope I have 3/4 of a tank to make it until then. Not "can't pay our bills" broke, the bills are just fine and paid...although the amount we pay doesn't do much to some of them. No, just sitting here with less then $10 in checking and less then $.50 in savings. Thats right, $.50. Why? Simple, because we overspent our means on plastic and are now trying to dig ourselves out. Not easy, but not hard. The hardest part for me is the car. We got the wife a car so she would have a way to get around, go to work...stuff like that She had previously said that she was going to start working when she got out here, so we talked about it and got her a 2003 Olds Alero. Not the best, but nothing to slouch at either. At the time we both aggree'd that it would be a problem for the payments because she was going to start working soon. Well we got her the car about 7-8 months ago and she still doesn't have a job. All the talk of the things we want to do (have baby, buy a house) things like that and all of it hinges on her getting a job...which for some reason she can't bring herself to do. I don't know why...she feels bad about it..I know that much...but what the fuck is holding her back. She wont let me get a second job either. I can understand why though, how would you feel if your signifigant other spent 10 hours a day defending democracy and then went to sling pizzas (or whatever) for 4 -5 more hours every day except sunday? All because you said you would work, but now you for some unseen reason cannot. I mean I don't care one way or the other. I know we need the money, I know that if something isn't done soon Christmas is going to look like Mary Kate after a bing and purge session. What am I supposed to do though? Go against her wishes and get a second job...this is a team effort after all so I need to take her opinion into consideration...or do I just sit here and watch our first "year" go down the tubes with no forward progress towards our goals to show for it. Fuck it, why can't this shit be important to her too? I mean, I know it is, I know that its very important to her. She's still talking about having a baby in Feburary...how do I look her in the eye and say "no, not right now...not with the money as fucked up as it is". And I know she'll realize what I really mean is "Not when you can't keep your end of the bargin, not when this stopped being a team effort and you decided to play waterboy. We had a goal and I had some high hopes, and it just wont fucking happen". She is my best friend, and I love her dearly...or else I wouldn't be married for the 3rd time...but fucking hell people... Anyway, happy Chaunuka to all my Jewish peoples. Laters PS Im not really Jewish

Source: The Adventures of Penguins